


Lost Boy

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Cute, Depression, Fluff, High School, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jock Ashton, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, ashton is a dick, ashton is not, luke is out and proud, malum is in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 00:59:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7487139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's not fair." Luke sighed. "I want what you guys have."</p><p>"You just have to put yourself out there, Luke." Calum said.</p><p>"Put myself out there?" Luke asked, eyes widening. "I'm the definition of out!"</p><p>"Not like that!" Calum laughed. "You're too stuck on one person."</p><p>Luke glanced across the cafeteria, knowing exactly who the one person he was talking about was. He sighed, resting his chin on his hand. He was just so perfect.</p><p>"I don't get it." Michael said, shaking his head. "Ashton Irwin is the most, probably the only homophobic person in this school and you're head over heels in love with him."</p><p>Luke sighed. "You guys don't know him like I do. He's not like that."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Luke was in a particularly good mood today. It was already 6th period and he had already finished all of his homework for 7th and 8th period, meaning he didn't have to beg to copy Calum's at lunch. He could just relax and enjoy his lunch period with his best friends.

He walked into the cafeteria, late as usual, being that his locker was on the other side of the school. He noticed Michael and Calum sitting at their usual table, already indulging in their food. Luke rushed over, dropping his paper bag on the table and taking his seat across from them.

"Listen, Luke." Calum said. "I finished the Calc homework but you can't copy my English essay. Mrs. Gates may be old, but she's not stupid. She'll notice if a whole essay is copied."

"I finished it, Cal, it's okay."

Michael and Calum simultaneously gasped. This was so unlike Luke. Usually he was coming up with some excuse of why he couldn't finish it. He worked a late shift or he completely forgot about it. They didn't have a problem with their friend copying it, they just thought his excuses were ridiculous. One time, Luke had actually tried to convince them his dog ate it.

"Who are you and what have you done with Luke?" Michael asked.

"Very funny." Luke said, rolling his eyes. "Can I just eat my lunch in peace without your judgement?"

Michael held up his hands in defense as Luke took a bite out of his sandwich, then sipped his water bottle.

"I wish my parents would make me lunch." Calum said, staring at Luke's perfectly prepared sandwich in awe. "I get handed $20 and am forced to eat this."

Michael laughed, poking at his own food. "I know. What is this? Chicken?"

"I'm sorry that my parents don't want me to get food poisoning." Luke said, raising his eyebrows at the two boys as they dissected their lunches. "Can you stop stabbing it? I think it's bleeding."

"I dare you to eat it." Calum said, shoving his lunch tray towards Luke.

Luke looked at the "meat" with disgust, shaking his head. "No way I'm eating this poison."

"Then you have to throw it out." Michael said, sliding his tray across the table.

"Anything to get it away from me." Luke said.

He stacked all of their garbage on the two trays, making his way to the trash can. After emptying his waste, he turned around, colliding with another, larger body.

"Watch where you're going, faggot."

Luke didn't even have to look up to see who it was. What he said was enough to give it away. Luke went to a school where people were pretty accepting of sexual orientation. That's what made it so easy for him to be openly gay. There was only one person who ever made comments like that to him.

Ashton Irwin.

"I-I'm sorry." Luke stuttered, looking down.

Before Ashton could say another word to him, Luke scurried away, putting his trays away, then sitting back down at his table.

Michael and Calum were too caught up in each other to see what had happened with Ashton and Luke was happy about that. He didn't like anyone else seeing how Ashton belittled him constantly.

As Luke sat back down, he noticed Michael kiss Calum on the nose. Luke rolled his eyes, making a gagging noise.

"Gross."

"Hey, don't knock us because you can't get a man." Michael said, throwing an arm around Calum's shoulder.

"I almost had Calum until you came into the picture." Luke said, rolling his eyes. "Homewrecker."

Michael laughed. He knew Luke was joking. They always joked about this. Luke and Calum had started dating their freshman year of high school, but when Michael joined their group, Calum and Michael began dating instead. None of the boys necessarily know what happened. Michael and Calum just clicked better. They were meant for each other. Luke and Calum wouldn't have lasted half of the time Michael and Calum had. There were no hard feelings about the situation, just jokes.

"It's not fair." Luke sighed. "I want what you guys have."

"You just have to put yourself out there, Luke." Calum said.

"Put myself out there?" Luke asked, eyes widening. "I'm the definition of out!"

"Not like that!" Calum laughed. "You're too stuck on one person."

Luke glanced across the cafeteria, knowing exactly who the one person he was talking about was. He sighed, resting his chin on his hand. He was just so perfect.

"I don't get it." Michael said, shaking his head. "Ashton Irwin is the most, probably the only homophobic person in this school and you're head over heels in love with him."

Luke sighed. "You guys don't know him like I do. He's not like that."

"Luke, you guys were friends in middle school." Calum said. "People change."

"Plus, didn't he dip as soon as you came out?" Michael asked.

The two boys continued picking him apart, as Luke just stared across the room at Ashton. At one point, Ashton caught his gaze and smiled.

Luke missed his smile. In middle school, they were inseparable. Luke was constantly at Ashton's house, playing video games or on the Internet. Ashton was always smiling around him. Now, Ashton never seemed to smile. At least, not the way he used to.

Luke didn't understand. How could Ashton be so awful, yet so wonderful? Why was he calling him names one minute and smiling at him the next? It didn't make sense. Yet, maybe that's why Luke was so infatuated with him.

"Earth to Luke!" Calum said, snapping Luke out of his thoughts. "Oh my god were you staring at him the whole time?"

"Like I said, You guys don't know him the way I do." Luke sighed, as the bell rang. "I have to get to Calc."

 

~~~~~

 

Luke tried so hard to concentrate on the English lesson, he really did. But Calum and Michael were on one side of him, being cute like they always were and Ashton was on the other, feet kicked up on his desk, with that stupid smirk he always made plastered on his face. Yet, despite how much Luke hated it, he still couldn't stop staring at Ashton.

"Are you like in love with me?" Ashton asked, loudly, causing Luke's eyes to go wide, as most of the class turned their attention to the two of them. "You never stop staring at me. It's weird."

"I-uh-"

"I'm not interested, dude. I like girls. I have a girlfriend. Back off."

"Mr. Irwin, that's enough."

Luke didn't know what to say or do. He was so embarrassed. Why would Ashton say that out loud? He looked to Michael and Calum, who were giving him that same look of disapproval. He glanced back at Ashton, who was staring at him now, the same smirk still on his face.

"It's okay, baby, I know I'm irresistible." He whispered. 

Luke didn't know what to do other than keep his eyes locked on the board and try to at least pretend like he was paying attention. All he wanted to do was go home and sleep off his day. Everything was going fine until he ran into Ashton at lunch. Why did he always have to do stupid things like that? He needed to pay more attention to his surroundings.

When the bell rang, Luke tried to bolt out of the room, but Mrs. Gates stopped him before he could get out the door.

"Mr. Hemmings, I just want to apologize for Mr. Irwin's actions in class today." She said. "I will be writing him up. I don't want you to feel like his actions are going unpunished."

Luke's eyes widened. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't be the reason Ashton was getting in trouble. Ashton would only hate him more. That was the last thing he wanted.

"No, you can't write him up." He blurted out. "Ashton was only joking. It was all in good fun. Mrs. Gates, I promise. Ashton was only joking."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Are you sure about this, Mr. Hemmings?"

"Of course." Luke said, confidently. "I assure you, there's nothing to be worried about."

Hesitantly, Mrs. Gates dismissed him, accepting the fact that Luke didn't want Ashton written up. As he exited the classroom, he noticed Michael and Calum, waiting for him, their hands linked and Ashton waiting on the other side of the hallway, rolling his eyes at the two of them.

"What are you doing here, Ashton?" Luke asked, trying to keep an annoyed expression on his face.

"Aw, don't act like you don't want to see me." Ashton smirked, stepping closer to Luke. "I just wanted to make sure my little admirer wouldn't get me in any trouble."

Luke rolled his eyes. "If anything, I just saved your ass. Just leave me alone."

Luke pushed past him, beginning to walk away, Michael and Calum following closely behind him.

"Wait Luke." Ashton called.

The blonde boy turned around in annoyance. His blue eyes were glassy, like he was on the verge of tears. Ashton bit his lip, almost feeling bad, knowing he was the one who caused that.

"Thanks." Ashton said, looking down. "For saving me."

Luke sighed. "Don't expect it next time."


	2. Chapter 2

Luke was never one for parties. Sure, he showed up to them occasionally, but he never really enjoyed them. He wasn't even sure how he got invited in the first place. Not that he was unpopular, but he just never felt like he belonged there. He only really showed up to be the designated driver for Michael and Calum.

Luke didn't drink or smoke much. Maybe that explained why he didn't like parties. Sure, he had been drunk before and he had even smoked weed once, but he didn't enjoy it as much as most kids his age. If anything, it just made him really anxious. He was so worried about being caught by his parents. He didn't like to disappoint them and coming home drunk or high was definitely the way to do so.

"Luke" Michael slurred, snapping the blonde boy out of his thoughts. "Isn't this party fucking awesome?"

Luke laughed. "The best."

Luke rolled his eyes in amusement as his friend stumbled into the kitchen, looking for more alcohol, no doubt.

He sighed, taking the last sip of his water and setting his empty cup on the table. He scanned the room, looking for Calum and found him on a couch, nearly passed out. Calum was never able to stay awake after drinking. Luke didn't understand why he even came. He was always knocked out by the first hour.

He shoved his way through the many bodies, ascending up the stairs. He needed to use the bathroom and the one downstairs was probably already occupied by a couple getting a little too intimate at a public event.

Luke pushed open the first door he saw, revealing a bedroom. Luke was about to shut the door and continue his journey to the bathroom when he noticed a picture frame on the bedside table. In the picture was Ashton and his mom, who he now recognized. He couldn't believe he didn't recognize the house. He had come here practically every day after school in middle school. This was Ashton's house.

Luke stepped further into the room, picking up the picture to examine it. He missed Ashton's mom. She had always been like a second mother to him.

"Get out of my room, Hemmings." A voice said, causing Luke to jump. "Put that down."

"I-I'm sorry, Ash, I-"

Ashton winced at the nickname. "Don't call me that."

Luke sighed, staring at the picture for another moment, before looking up to Ashton with a slight smile on his face.

"How is your mom?" He asked.

Luke knew he was pushing his luck. Ashton was much stronger than him and could probably break every bone in his body, but part of Luke knew Ashton would never hurt him.

"She's fine. Get out."

"I remember this room. That's the same TV we used to play video games on and we tried to lock your little sister in that closet, but we got in trouble." Luke smiled, looking around the room, smirking. "And that's the bed we used to sleep in at sleepovers. We would get cold and I would wrap my arms around you and I think you liked it."

"Get the fuck out of my room, Luke." Ashton said. "I'm warning you."

"What are you gonna do?" Luke asked, laughing. "Cuddle me to death?"

Before Luke could say another word, Ashton had tackled him onto the bed, trying to pin him down, but somehow Luke's adrenaline allowed him to pin Ashton down, instead.

"What are you gonna do?" Ashton asked, mocking Luke. "Kiss me?"

"You'd like that wouldn't you, Ash?" Luke smirked. "I heard you and Bryanna were having problems again. Is that why you're trying to get me into your bed? Looking for a rebound?"

"You would love to be my rebound, wouldn't you?" Ashton said, finally flipping Luke over so he was on top. "I hear you'll open your legs for any boy who looks at you the right way."

Luke shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a people pleaser. I'd be happy to please you too."

"You couldn't please me if you tried." Ashton whispered, leaning down so their foreheads were touching. "Baby, I'm the one who does the pleasing here."

Luke was lost for words. His head was spinning. Was Ashton actually on top of him "threatening" to "please" him? This had to be some kind of a twisted dream. He closed his eyes for a minute, trying to clear his head.

This was the only chance he was going to get to make a move on Ashton. It was now or never. He sighed. What did he have to lose?

Luke leaned up, connecting their lips.

Ashton was stunned for a moment, refusing to move and Luke pulled back, feeling light headed. He hadn't expected anything from Ashton. He was just happy he took a chance.

Just as Luke was about to push Ashton off of him, Ashton leaned down again, pressing their lips together once more. This time, it was Luke who was stunned. Luke could taste the rum on Ashton's tongue. It was disgusting, but he didn't care because it was Ashton. He had waited years for this kiss and even though it wasn't passionate, it was still everything he could have asked for.

Luke grabbed a fist full of Ashton's hair, pulling him impossibly closer and Ashton let out a low groan. Ashton rolled his hips down, causing Luke to produce a whiny, higher pitched moan and Ashton thought it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

He continued to roll his hips down, making Luke produce the same sound over and over.

"Fuck, Ash." Luke breathed, thrusting his own hips upwards to meet Ashton's.

"Feeling pleased yet?" Ashton asked, moving his lips down Luke's jawline.

Luke just nodded, knowing he couldn't produce a coherent thought.

Just as Ashton's lips moved to Luke's neck, he heard his name being called and it wasn't Ashton who was calling it.

"Ashton, get off." Luke said, pushing him.

"What I-"

"Ashton, I hear Michael, get off."

Ashton's eyes widened, as he jumped off of Luke. Luke stood up, trying to regain his composure. He glanced in Ashton's mirror, trying to fix his messy hair and his raging hard on.

He stepped out of Ashton's room, nearly bumping into Michael. He held Ashton's door shut, making sure Ashton wouldn't follow him out. Not that he needed to worry much. Ashton probably wouldn't want anyone knowing about what was going on behind those doors.

"Luke!" Michael said, smiling. "Where have you been?"

Luke struggled to come up with an excuse, but Michael's eyes scanned his body and it wasn't even worth lying. Michael, even in his drunken state, knew what Luke had been up to.

"Shit dude, who were you fucking?" Michael asked.

"N-No one, Michael." Luke sighed. "Let's get out of here, alright?"


	3. Chapter 3

"You should have seen him, Cal." Michael said. "He looked like a mess. His hair was the definition of sex hair."

"Luke, why won't you tell us who it is?" Calum whined.

Luke sighed, not moving his eyes from the whiteboard in front of him. Michael had been going on and on about his "hookup" ever since Luke stepped out of Ashton's room the night of the party. Luke had tried explaining to him that it went no further than kissing but Michael was convinced that he was a liar.

"I just can't tell you guys, okay?" Luke said. "I can't do that to him."

Luke glanced at Ashton, who was too focused on his phone to even hear the conversation Luke and his friends were having.

"Woah, sounds serious." Michael smirked. "Was this more than a one time hookup?"

"It was nothing Mike. I swear to you, it was nothing. It's just not my place to talk about him like this, okay?"

When the bell rang, Luke couldn't wait to get out of the classroom and go home. Michael and Calum had tried to wait for him to pack his things up, but Luke had promised them he would "catch up with them later."

When they were out of his sight, Luke turned the other way, following Ashton's usual path to the locker room.

"Ashton!" Luke called out. "Ashton, can we talk?"

"Make it quick, Hemmings. I have baseball."

Luke sighed. Even after Friday night, Ashton was still trying to act too cool for him.

"I just wanted to talk about what happened."

"What are you talking about?" Ashton asked.

"You know, at the party." Luke trailed off, not wanting to have to say it out loud.

Ashton looked at him, confused. "You were at my party?"

Luke returned the same confused expression, not knowing if Ashton was joking or not. There's no way he could have forgotten what happened, right?

"Are you joking?" Luke asked, annoyed, but Ashton just shook his head, slowly. "You mean to tell me you don't remember you and me in your bedroom, Friday night?"

Ashton raised his eyebrows. "I don't know what you're trying to get at here, man, but I was so drunk. I don't remember shit."

Luke sighed, giving up. He felt so stupid. Of course, Ashton wouldn't remember it. He wouldn't have done any of that while he was sober.

"Sorry I bothered you." Luke mumbled.

He quickly turned away, navigating his way down the hallway to Michael's locker. That was their usual meeting place. Michael always drove Luke and Calum home from school.

"Hey, where did you go?" Calum asked, as Luke approached them.

"I just had to talk to someone." Luke said, shrugging. "Hey, Mike, I'm not really in the mood to hang out today. Could you just bring me straight home?"

Michael agreed, not bothering to question Luke. He knew better. Luke was clearly upset and he didn't want to pester him. He figured Luke would tell him sooner or later. Plus, Luke going home gave Michael some alone time with Calum, so he definitely was not complaining.

 

~~~~~

 

The week seemed to drag on for Luke. He went through his normal routine every day of waking up, going to school, then either going to work or hanging out with Michael and Calum. He still hadn't told them what happened at the party and Michael was getting annoyed. He could tell Luke seemed to be down all week but Luke couldn't tell him about it and it made Michael furious. They were best friends. They were supposed to tell each other everything.

It was now Friday, though. Luke seemed to be in a better mood and Michael and Calum were so happy to see him smiling again.

"So we're going to the party tonight right?" Luke asked, casually, as the three of them walked into Michael's house.

Michael and Calum shared a confused glance. Usually, they had to drag Luke out of the house to get him to go. Luke was never the one who suggested it.

"Yeah, I mean, if you want." Calum said. "Since when do you actually enjoy parties?"

Luke shrugged. "I just figured you guys would want to go."

Michael saw right through Luke's lies. He knew Luke's new interest in high school house parties had something to do with his hookup at the last one. He kept his mouth shut though because tonight, Michael was going to find out who the boy was.

"You've been acting weird all week, man." Calum said. "This is so unlike you."

"I had a long week and I want to go have some fun with my best friends. That's all it is, Cal, okay?"

"Whatever you say." Calum mumbled, plopping onto Michael's couch. "Who's up for some Orange Is The New Black?"

Luke and Michael shrugged, making themselves comfy on the couches. The three boys watched their Netflix show until around 8:30 when they decided to head to the party.

The party was at Ashton's house again and even though it was only a few minutes away, Luke was still squirming in his seat the whole time out of excitement and nervousness.

They ended up being a few of the first guests, after Ashton's close friends. Calum immediately went for the beer, while Luke and Michael were both planning on staying sober for a while. Luke wandered upstairs, pushing open Ashton's bedroom door to find the older boy sitting on his bed, messing around with his phone.

"There's a party going on downstairs." Luke said, startling Ashton. "In fact, it's your party. Why aren't you down there?"

"Luke, get out of my room." Ashton said, clearly annoyed by the blonde boy. "I'm not in the mood."

"Are we gonna have to go through this whole thing again or will you just kiss me already?" Luke asked, sitting next to Ashton, resting a hand on his thigh.

Ashton made no effort to move, so Luke did instead. He grabbed Ashton's face, pressing their lips together, harshly. Ashton seemed tense at first, but he quickly relaxed, kissing Luke with the same amount of force. Luke moaned when Ashton's tongue slipped into his mouth.

Ashton slowly pushed Luke back, so he was laying flat on his bed. His mouth moved from his lips to his neck, biting lightly, but hard enough to leave marks.

Luke knew this was going to be tough to explain to Michael, but he didn't care. All he could focus on was the way Ashton's lips felt against his skin and how good it felt when Ashton grinded down into him.

"Don't forget about me, this time, Ash." Luke said, panting heavily.

"I could never." Ashton whispered, his hands wandering up Luke's shirt before tugging it off and throwing it to the ground. "Jesus Luke, you look so good with your hair messed up and that cute little, desperate look on your face. I'll make you feel real good, I promise."

 

~~~~~

 

But Ashton had once again forgotten Luke when Monday morning came. Luke had gone to talk to him and he swore he was too drunk to remember anything. 

This routine went on for weeks. Luke would show up at Ashtons party, they would hook up, and on Monday Ashton could never remember. But Luke secretly knew he was lying. He had watched Ashton drink nothing but water at one of his parties, but Ashton still went with the same lie.

Michael still tried to catch the two boys at every party, but Luke had caught onto his plan quickly and would always find a way to distract Michael. Usually, Luke would leave the room first and bring Michael downstairs while Ashton left. He knew Michael was going to catch on sooner or later, though. If he didn't see them together, he sure as hell was going to hear Luke moaning Ashton's name. He wasn't exactly quiet about it.

Luke only went along with this routine because he knew Ashton would give it up eventually. Eventually, he would have to face the truth: Ashton was gay and Luke wanted to be there when it happened.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's way too much dialogue in this lmao sorry
> 
> also i'm a slut for comments so

Luke tugged down the sleeves of his shirt, covering his hands with the fabric to keep them warm. He was at Ashton's baseball game, hoping he would get a chance to talk to him after the game, but he just wanted to leave. He hated baseball and it was freezing out. Michael and Calum were just complaining beside him about how stupid this was. They wanted to go home, just as much as Luke, but being the good friends they were, they stayed.

"Luke, why won't you just tell us which one it is? We'll help you out." Michael sighed.

Luke furrowed his eyebrows, turning to face the red head. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, you didn't all of a sudden find your hidden passion for watching baseball or discover your school spirit over night." Michael explained. "It's obvious lover boy is on the baseball team. If you would just tell us who it is and what's going on, we could help you out so you don't have to stalk him to see him."

"Yeah, Luke. We could help you." Calum said. "Is he avoiding you? Do you think he's with someone else?"

"Are you guys together? Is he cheating?"

Luke ran his hand through his hair, not knowing what to do. He couldn't keep lying to Michael and Calum, but he couldn't out Ashton. He was so stressed about this whole situation. He just wished Ashton could accept himself.

"I can't tell you," Luke paused, earning eye rolls from Michael and Calum. "I can't tell you because he's not-"

Michael and Calum waited impatiently for Luke to finish his thought, but he didn't. He just sighed, burying his head in his hands.

"He's not what Luke?" Calum asked softly, noticing how stressed Luke seemed.

"He's not," Luke sighed. "He's not out."

Michael and Calum raised their eyebrows, both glancing at the baseball players on the field, eliminating the few players on the team who were openly gay.

"Luke you know what this means right?" Michael asked.

Luke gave him a curious look, tilting his head a bit. Michael sighed, feeling bad for his friend who was so clueless about what was about to happen.

"He's gonna come out, eventually, Luke, and maybe you'll be his first boyfriend. You'll be the one who kinda guides him through what it's like to be gay." Michael paused. "But he's gonna want to experiment with his sexuality and other guys. And you guys are gonna break up and you're gonna be heartbroken when that happens."

Luke shook his head, trying to hold back his tears. Ashton wouldn't do that to him, right? They had history. They were best friends at one point. Ashton wouldn't hurt him.

"He wouldn't do that to me, Michael." Luke sighed. "He's different."

"I'd hate to agree with him, Luke." Calum said. "But I think he's right."

"We just don't want you to get hurt." Michael explained.

Luke shook his head, furiously. "No! He's better than that. He wouldn't hurt me."

"Luke-"

"Just go home." Luke said. "You guys don't want to be here anyway."

"We just-"

"Go home!"

Michael and Calum knew better than to push Luke when he was upset, so they sighed, walking away. Luke would get over it. He would be fine in an hour. He was just too shocked by Michael's words to think about them. He would come around eventually.

As the two boys left, Luke noticed the game was ending and the crowd was beginning to leave. Luke panicked, not wanting Ashton to leave before he could talk to him. He rushed down the bleachers to the fence, calling Ashton's name. Ashton looked nervous when he saw the blonde boy, desperately calling for him. He looked around, running to meet Luke at the gate, before any of his friends noticed.

"Meet me in the dug out in 20 minutes." Ashton whispered. "I can't talk to you in front of them."

Luke sighed, annoyed that Ashton was too embarrassed to talk to him in front of his teammates, but he was happy he agreed to talk at all.

Luke went to the vending machine, getting a water bottle, waiting for both teams and the crowd to clear the area, before wandering to the dug out. He waited about five minutes, before Ashton showed up, no longer in his baseball uniform.

"Sorry I took so long." Ashton said, sitting next to him. "I didn't want anyone getting suspicious."

Luke sighed, not wanting to deal with this small talk. "I know you don't get drunk at your parties before hooking up with me."

"I know." Ashton said, confused. "You didn't know that I knew you knew?"

"What?" Luke asked, laughing at how ridiculous he sounded. "That wasn't even a question."

Ashton laughed, too. "I know you're not an idiot, Luke. I was sober every time. I'm just surprised it took you this long to admit you knew I was sober."

"I know how hard it can be to accept yourself when going through this." Luke shrugged, trying to be careful with his words. "Coming out is so hard and I can't force you to do it. I can only help guide you through it and hope to make it easier on you."

Ashton was quiet for a moment and when Luke looked over, he noticed tears forming in Ashton's eyes. His own eyes went wide, as he pulled Ashton in for a tight hug. Ashton buried his face in Luke's shoulder and Luke ran his free hand through the older boy's hair, hoping to calm him down a bit.

"Why are you being so nice?" Ashton mumbled. "I can't even admit it to myself. It's not fair to you, Luke. You deserve someone better. Why are you wasting your time on me?"

"Ash." Luke said, softly. "I went through this too. I didn't have anyone to help me through it. I was all alone, but I survived. I just want to make it easier on you."

Ashton wiped his eyes, untangling himself from Luke. He was so happy Luke was being so patient with him.

"It probably didn't help much that your best friend stopped talking to you when you came out, huh?" Ashton asked.

Luke laughed a bit. "Yeah, that definitely made it a little harder."

"I'm sorry." Ashton said, feeling tears brimming his eyes again. "I guess I was just jealous that you were able to accept it and I couldn't."

Luke wrapped his arms around Ashton again, when he saw the tears forming. He didn't want Ashton feeling like he had anything to be sorry for.

"Everyone moves at their own pace, Ash. It's okay." Luke said, rubbing his back.

The two of them sat their for a while, not speaking. They were just enjoying each other's company and embrace. Neither of them knew how long they sat, holding each other, but they both knew it felt good.

"I want to come out, Luke, I really do." Ashton said, after a while. "I like you a lot and I want to be with you. I want to hold your hand in the hallway and sit with you at lunch. I want to hug you in front of my friends and kiss you in public. I just need some time, okay? If you continue to be patient with me, I'll eventually be ready for all of that. I want to come out. I just don't know how."

Luke kissed his forehead, smiling. "Why don't you start with me?"

Ashton nodded, taking a deep breath. He didn't know why he was so nervous. Luke knew. He had just never said the words out loud to anyone else. His heart pounded against his chest, as he looked into Luke's eyes.

"Luke, I have something to tell you."

Luke smiled, slightly amused. "What's that, Ashton?"

"Luke, I'm gay."


	5. Chapter 5

Despite the fact that it was taking some time, Luke was happy Ashton was trying to come out. Sure, he had only told one person so far, but it was all about baby steps. You can't expect someone to tell the whole world over night.

Plus, Luke was enjoying the secret relationship. He liked that he was always making up excuses for why he couldn't hang out with Michael and Calum. He enjoyed putting on a little show about how "horrible" it was to be Ashton's partner for group work in math.

But he liked being alone with Ashton even more because he liked to hold his hand and cuddle with him and kiss him. He spent all day counting down the time until he could leave school and kiss Ashton.

"Hey, Luke, do you wanna get some lunch together after school?" Michael asked. "I'm craving some fast food."

"I can't." Luke said, glancing at Ashton, who was seated next to him. "I have homework."

Michael rolled his eyes. "Can you just quit it with the excuses? We know you're still seeing whoever it is on the baseball team. He's gonna break your heart, trust us."

Ashton could feel his blood boiling at that sentence. Who was Michael to say that he would break Luke's heart? He would never hurt him.

"Michael, stop." Calum said.

"No, I'm sick of him ditching us to hang out with some kid who doesn't even care about him!" Michael said, now gaining the attention of some of the other kids in the class.

"Who are you to judge if he cares about me?" Luke asked.

Luke had been hearing this a lot lately from Michael. He was so convinced that Ashton would break Luke's heart. He thought that because he wasn't out yet, he was using Luke.

"He won't even come out Luke." Michael said. "He's using you."

The bell rang and Luke was ready to storm out and go home to take a long nap, but instead Ashton grabbed him and turned him around, slamming their lips together, earning shocked looks from the few kids still in the classroom.

Luke's eyes widened as well. Sure, he knew why Ashton had done it, but he didn't think he was ready. Whenever Luke even mentioned the idea of telling Michael and Calum, Ashton would change the subject, so coming out to an entire class was definitely a big step.

Both boys were aware the entire school would know in a few days time. Gossip like that travels fast in high school.

"Don't ever say I don't care about him." Ashton mumbled, linking his hang with Luke's and dragging him from the classroom.

The two boys kept their hands linked in the hallway, earning confused glances from many of their peers, but they didn't care. Ashton was too angry with Michael and Luke was too surprised. 

Once they had made it to Ashton's car, Luke's head had stopped spinning and he was finally able to process what had just happened. Ashton had just kissed him in front of almost 25 students. He had basically just come out to all of those people.

"Why did you do that?" Luke asked, sighing. "You shouldn't have done that."

"What?" Ashton asked, surprised. He thought Luke would be thrilled he was finally ready to tell people.

"Did you do that because you wanted to defend me or did you do that because you were ready?" Luke asked. "Because if you weren't ready, you're going to blame me for the rest of your life, Ashton, and I don't want you to resent me."

"Luke, I want everyone to see how happy I am when You hold my hand." Ashton said. "I want them to wish they had what we have, okay?"

Luke sighed and nodded. "Thank you for sticking up for me."

"Michael doesn't have a clue of how I feel about you."

~~~~~

It took a couple of days before Luke was ready to forgive Michael, but before they knew it, they were best friends again. Luke knew Michael was just looking out for him.

It took about a week before the whole school knew about Luke and Ashton. No one seemed to care, though. It was just shocking, considering Ashton seemed to always hate Luke so much.

The two boys were just happy they could finally show their affection towards each other in public and they sure as hell took advantage of it. Ashton would walk Luke to every class and they would give each other cute little kisses at their lockers. Sometimes when they didn't drive to school together, Luke would bring Ashton coffee or breakfast. It seemed like they were spending every waking moment together.

"So you'll be at my party tonight, right?" Ashton asked Michael and Calum, while they packed their backpacks to leave school.

Ashton was also working on getting to know Luke's friends. He found it was easier to get along with Calum because he didn't really cause any drama. Michael was constantly warning Luke about Ashton, which made him angry because Ashton wasn't going to hurt him.

"Yeah, we'll be there." Michael said. "Save us some time with Luke."

"Okay, you can have him for an hour, then he's all mine." Ashton smirked.

"Gross." Calum snorted.

"Don't act like you two don't do it." Ashton said. "I know for a fact Michael heard us at the last party."

"And I never want to relive it, thanks."

Just as they were about to say their goodbyes, Luke appeared behind Ashton, startling him a bit.

"What are you guys talking about?" He asked.

"Just how excited I am to see you tonight." Ashton said, making Luke blush. "The first party where I don't have to play drunk to fuck you."

Luke smiled, a little embarrassed that Ashton had been talking about that with Michael and Calum. "I'll see you later, Ash."


	6. Chapter 6

Luke played with a loose string on his sweater, trying to block out whatever conversation Michael and Calum were having next to him. He glanced at Michael's drink sitting on the table and quickly grabbed it, downing the rest.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Michael said, grabbing his cup back. "That was mine."

"What's up with you Luke?" Calum asked. "You've been acting weird all night."

Luke shrugged. "I want another drink."

The blonde boy stood up, wandering to the kitchen. Michael and Calum followed closely behind, ready to interrogate him. Luke never drank. Why was he acting strange all of a sudden?

"Have you guys seen Ashton?" Luke asked, as he took a sip of his drink.

"No, he's probably up in his room, waiting for you." Calum joked, nudging his side.

Luke winced at the words. "Maybe I should go home."

He began digging through his pocket in search of his keys and Calum and Michael realized him acting strange wasn't just some weird phase in the night.

"Luke, what did he do?" Calum asked, touching his arm lightly. "You can tell us, we're your best friends."

"Nothing, Cal. He's been great to me. I just-" Luke paused. "Never mind, it's weird talking about this with you guys. Call me when you guys want to leave and I'll pick you up."

"If this is a sex thing, we're open to listen." Michael said.

Luke cringed at his words. As close as he was with Michael and Calum, he didn't want to discuss anything of that sort with them. He wanted it to stay between him and Ashton only. He knew his friends though, and he knew they weren't going to give up.

"I don't want to." Luke said quietly.

"Have sex with him?" Michael asked, a little too loud for Luke's liking.

Luke nodded, glancing around to make sure Ashton hadn't spontaneously appeared to listen in on this conversation.

"Why don't you just tell him?" Calum suggested. "I'm sure he'll understand."

"But what if he doesn't?" Luke asked, sighing. "What if Michael's right and he's just using me? I'd rather just leave."

"If he's only using you, this is the perfect time to find out. If he's okay with it, then he cares about you. If he's mad, fuck him." Michael paused. "Well don't literally fuck him, but you get the picture."

Luke sighed, not knowing what to do. He really didn't want his relationship with Ashton to end over one night where he was feeling down. He considered just sucking it up and dealing with the fact that Ashton was going to want to hook up with him constantly, but he knew that was a bad idea.

"Go talk to him." Calum said and Luke nodded.

He trudged up the stairs, getting nervous just thinking about the conversation he was about to have. He knew this could potentially be the end of his and Ashton's relationship.

Luke took a deep breath, pushing Ashton's door open, not bothering to knock. He found Ashton laying on his bed, scrolling through some social media site on his laptop. When he looked up from the screen, he smiled at Luke. Luke couldn't help but smile back. He thought Ashton was adorable.

"Sick of the party already?" Luke asked, sitting next to Ashton on his bed.

Ashton closed his laptop, placing it on his bedside table and grabbed Luke's hands, playing with his fingers.

"I was just waiting to see you." Ashton smirked. "You kept me waiting for so long."

Ashton's lips met Luke's and for a moment Luke forgot the reason he had come up here in the first place. Once he regained his thoughts, he gently pushed Ashton away.

"Ash, I don't want to do this tonight." Luke said, running his hands through his own hair. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

"Okay." Ashton said, placing a small kiss on Luke's lips. "Whatever makes you happy."

"That's it?" Luke asked. "You're not mad?"

Ashton furrowed his eyebrows at Luke. Why the hell would he be mad about that? Did Luke really think that little of him?

"Of course not. I'm not dating you to have sex." Ashton said. "Luke, you changed my life in the past few weeks. I care about you so much. How could I be mad at you?"

Luke let out a sigh of relief. Ashton really wasn't using him. He couldn't wait to tell Michael and prove him wrong.

"Do you want to spend the night?" Ashton asked with hopeful eyes.

"I have to drive Michael and Calum home."

"They can sleep downstairs, Luke. Please, stay with me."

Luke smiled, laying down and closing his eyes. He didn't know why he felt so tired. Maybe it had something to do with the two cups of vodka he had to drink. He was definitely a lightweight and alcohol always made him tired.

"It's so hot in your room, Ash." He whined. "Turn the fan on."

"Just take your sweater off Luke." Ashton laughed, grabbing the hem to aid him.

Luke's eyes shot open in panic, swatting his hands away. Ashton pulled away quickly, unsure of what had just happened. He thought Luke had believed that he wasn't using him.

"It's fine, let's just go to sleep."

Ashton sighed and laid down, wrapping his arms around Luke. Luke smiled burying his head into Ashton's chest and closing his eyes.

Ashton tried to close his eyes and relax, but he couldn't stop thinking about Luke. He never had a problem being shirtless around Ashton before. He never seemed to be insecure with his body. And he seemed to believe Ashton when he said he didn't want to hook up with him.

So why did he look so nervous about taking off his shirt?


End file.
